Not quite 95 reasons :-)

that I don’t care about Halloween or dress-up for parties suspiciously close to Halloween:

1. Candy is overrated.
2. It encourages churches to lie and have silly things like “Harvest Festivals” that lack any harvest-like fruits and vegetables.
3. Too many carbs
4. Bad memories of all those razor-blades-in-apples myths
5. Not a fan of dress-up
6. Questionable origin of the celebration
7. Overshadows Reformation Day
8. Overshadows All Saints Day
9. It teaches children to beg.
10. Silly games
11. It clumps all the good B horror movies in one season of the year
12. It looks like it glorifies evil (whether it does or not is another issue)
13. It’s overrated.
14. I’ve given up snookering people out of as much candy as possible.
15. I’m a basically boring person.
16. Not a fan of parties
17. I’d rather bake pumpkins than carve them up.
18. Pro-Halloween people annoy me.
19. Trick-or-Treaters annoy me.
20. I’m easily annoyed.
21. Oh, and pro-Halloween people are waaaaay too sensitive, which annoys me.
22. Does anyone even remember that October 31 is Reformation Day?
23. It has a weird place in American culture—not that I’m against weird.
24. I’ve been to San Francisco on Halloween and the images won’t go away.
25. The memory of sticking my hand in slime covered spaghetti noodles is too much to bear.
26. Not celebrating annoys people (I know, it’s evil of me).
27. I’d rather go out to dinner with friends.
28. I don’t like orange.
29. I do like black, but I like irony more.
30. The folks who dress up on the bus frighten me.
31. It happens at a very busy time of the year and distracts me from what I need to do.
32. I don’t need help being distracted, as I’m quite good at it without any outside assistance.
33. I’m just out of the holiday habit.
34. I’m resisting an excuse to consume mass quantities of Farley’s Pumpkins (the best mellocreme pumpkins in existence).
35. Halloween just isn’t that fun: I think fun things should be fun.
36. It puts too much emphasis on black cats and all the other-colored cats feel bad.
37. It’s mostly for kids and I don’t have any.
38. It’s just a strange holiday.
39. I’m working on my Hallo-Scrooge skills.
40. Anti-Halloween people annoy me…oh, wait, wrong argument…
41. It encourages people to wait for an excuse before they can be silly.
42. Too much giggling
43. Gross games like dunking for apples—ew, slobber water!
44. Masks…again with deception.
45. Make up is messy.
46. My father’s stories of adolescent Halloween pranks—like moving the outhouse five feet so the “goer” would fall in…um…yeah—tells me that Halloween encourages youth to no good end.
47. Did I mention carbs?
48. Slasher movies…’nuff said.
49. I think it’s dumb.
50. As a child, I was quite mercenary about the whole thing and, when I got past that, I discovered I didn’t really care.
51. If I had as much time as Luther had to write his 95 Theses, this would be longer.

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